In my previous post, I talked about how raising your standards and turning your SHOULDS to MUSTS is the first part to achieving real and lasting change…BUT…
If change isn’t happening for you, then one of two things is happening:
- You believe that you SHOULD change… but it’s not a total absolute MUST in your gut.
- You don’t believe that you CAN change it.
This brings us to the second part of our change equation…. the belief that you have the power to change it.
The only reason you believe that you CAN’T is because you think you’ve tried everything… which is a lie. If you have tried everything, you would have gotten results. The real reason you don’t believe you can change is because you’ve never done it before… But I’m here to tell ya… the past does NOT = the future… unless you live there…If you drive solely looking out your rear view mirror, you’ll never get anywhere. I know that this isn’t a sexy answer… just believing you can… but it’s your BELIEFS that control your actions.
ALL BELIEFS CARRY WITH THEM CONSEQUENCES.
Human behavior is belief driven. What does that mean?
If someone does something, they have a REASON, based on something they believe will give them something they need or want. But what is a belief? It’s a feeling a certainty of what something means. If you believe something, you have certainty.
The three beliefs you HAVE to have to change is:
- It MUST change
- I must change
- I CAN change it
Now, the last part to this whole equation is LEVERAGE.
Most people believe the PAIN of actually changing is more painful than the PAIN of where they are currently at. It’s more painful to have to workout and give up processed foods, than the pain of being unhealthy of overweight. If we don’t change we don’t have enough leverage.
So, how do we get more leverage?
We start by being radically honest with ourselves and we stop avoiding the pain.
Think of a change in your own life that was really hard for you to make, then one day you reached a point and you said, “THAT’S IT, I’VE HAD IT, NEVER AGAIN, IT’S OVER…” then change occurred. That’s the day you got enough leverage…
Have you ever been in a relationship that was painful and you rationalized it because it “used to be good…it will be good again.”
You see, if the present is painful, you can always escape to the past. And if the past is painful you can always make-up a future that’s better.
But until you’re honest with yourself, you hung out in numbness. Most people live in “no mans land,” where they aren’t really happy, but they’re not UNHAPPY enough to do something about it… which is why we have to get leverage.
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