Rachel Scheer: This is What Healing Looks Like

Today, in the Scheer Madness Podcast, Rachel Scheer talks about what ”Healing” actually looks like, focusing on our relationship with ourselves, and accepting all parts of you. Healing is not a destination. Healing is a journey. Once we understand this, we can make room for our struggles and the healing process can actually begin.

For more information about working with our team at Rachel Scheer Nutrition, book a free 30-minute call at www.rachelscheer.com/application and learn more about functional wellness coaching at https://rachelscheer.com/functional-wellness-coaching/

Listen ON:

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scheer-madness/id1490423541

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5OLd9BtesW7Oe4nSH0QF9W

Chapters:

  • 00:00 Intro
  • 00:20 How Do We Heal Instead of Deal
  • 04:46 Allowing Your Feelings to Be There
  • 11:39 The Relationship We Have With Ourselves
  • 18:10 Accepting All Parts of You

Connect with Rachel:

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Podcast Transcript:

[oo:oo] RACHEL SCHEER: Healing is actually allowing yourself to show up in your day, do what you need to do without forcing to be good or having to pretend that everything is okay. It’s actually honoring the space that you are in.

[oo:19] RACHEL SCHEER: How can we heal instead of just deal? And what does healing truly actually look like? This is a question that I’ve been asking myself for a really long time. And I used to think that healing was, Alright, I’m gonna go work with a coach. And I’m gonna go see the therapist, and I’m going to uncover all of my childhood wounds, and then what, but healing doesn’t happen in just those short term counseling sessions. It happens every single day, and how we show up, and how we choose to lean into the struggles and honoring the place that we’re truly in. And if I’m being completely real with you, guys, I had a really fucking hard week, my dog died. About a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night, and she just had spontaneously died. She was not even three years old. And on top of that, I’ve been in the midst of so many life changes, of moving to Dallas, up leveling in my business and work starting a new mastermind, and a new relationship with its own struggles along the way, on my own healing journey, and coach that I’ve been working with. And it’s been really fucking hard. It’s kind of really hard. And throughout all of this, as this was coming up for me this last week, I had all of these clients that I had to still attend to. I had obligations expectations on me, and I don’t know if any you guys have been there before, but it is frickin overwhelming. And I had to really sit back and ask myself, Rachel, what is it that we need to do here? Do we need to just push forward? And just, you know, get through this period that I’m in, put on a face because I have these expectations and these obligations that I need to follow through on? Or do I cancel at all? Do I say I can’t do it, this is too much. I need to stop, I need to, I need to lean into this time that I needed to have for myself for my morning and my healing. And as I sat there, and I asked myself this question, the answer was neither. The answer was showing up in all of this shit that I have going on in my life, and leaning in.

[o3:10] RACHEL SCHEER: And I think it was such a beautiful analogy of this is what healing looks like. Healing is actually allowing yourself to show up in your day, do what you need to do without forcing to be good or having to pretend that everything is okay. It’s actually honoring the space that you are in. But unfortunately, we have this motto of you know, fake it till you make it put on a smile for everybody around you pretend like everything is okay. And for what for out of fear of what people will think out of fear of our vulnerability, making other people uncomfortable. And as a byproduct, we reject ourselves before we even give anyone else the opportunity to do so. And when you put yourself out there, when you speak your truth, when you are unapologetically who you are in your authentic self, you’re gonna make a lot of people really fucking uncomfortable. But you know what? You also give other people the freedom to do the same. This is what strength, vulnerability and ownership truly looks like. It’s, it’s allowing What is there to be there, not pushing it away. Not saying that it’s too hard that you can’t deal with it not putting your life on hold. This is part of your strength. This is your superpower and This is how healing truly happens. And so many of us, were waiting for the perfect time for our healing. We are saying after this trip, after I get through this period of my life, then I’ll go in and I’ll invest on myself, and I’ll dive into my healing. But you know what, it’s never perfect. And that’s not true healing anyway, that saying, everything needs to be perfect in my life, for me to really uncover and show up for myself. But it’s the most healing thing in the world. When we can actually own where we’re at, make space for it. Honor whatever emotion is there. This could be anger, sadness, frustration, fatigue, I know there are so many days where I’ve just been utterly exhausted.

[o6:o1] RACHEL SCHEER: And the anxiety that came from me wanting to just feel good, push it away, made it 10 times worse. But that healing happens when you say, Okay, this can be here, right now, this is part of my healing. And I can still show up, I can still own and follow through and take ownership for the things that I need to do in my life. Well, allowing myself to be in the space that I’m in this kind of authenticity, this kind of self trust, this kind of confidence, which isn’t the kind of confidence that comes from having six pack abs, from looking a certain way from a validation from anybody else. But a confidence that comes from you truly owning who you are, where you’re at, in all parts of you is something that is so beautiful. And it’s not something that I’ve always had, honestly, for me, it’s something that I’ve even stepped into in this last year in my life. And a lot of you guys know, my background and my history, coming from the bodybuilding world in the fitness community, and completely losing my health, literally almost having my large intestine removed for a long time. Throughout my life, I derived a lot of my confidence, based off of what everybody else thought of me. I had this underlying belief that I wasn’t good enough. So I pushed my body further and further and further to the point of exhaustion, and burnout. And the byproduct was gut issues, hormone imbalances, thyroid issues, and all of the other emotional stuff that came with it like anxiety and depression. And I did all of the testing, I went to the western medicine doctors, and they gave me all of these different diagnoses. And eventually, yes, I got into functional medicine, I was able to identify that a lot of my imbalances were coming from my microbiome, bacterial overgrowth, from intestinal permeability, from high levels of cortisol, your stress hormone.

[o8:45] RACHEL SCHEER: And I did a lot of these holistic protocols working on my gut. Rebalancing my microbiome, and you guys know I’m so for gut health, because our gut and our brain are highly interconnected. And if your microbiome is off, this is going to affect every single area in our entire body. However, the true root cause was not that I just had some bacteria imbalances or intestinal permeability. The true cause is what caused all of that to become off in the first place. And it was this underlying feeling of inadequacy of unworthiness that catapulted me to do these extreme things to push my body to have this physical stress do have this emotional stress to eat the foods that didn’t love my body back that developed in bacteria dysbiosis that made gut intestinal permeability that led to the hormone imbalances and the thyroid issues that led to all of the symptoms of the chronic bloating constantly. Asian, almost having my large intestine removed, anxiety, depression, fatigue, all of that was because of the relationship that I had with myself.

[10:16] RACHEL SCHEER: 95% of your body’s serotonin is produced by the bacteria that resides in your gut. And this explains why when my gut was a wreck, or when clients come to work with me at Rachel share nutrition, they don’t just suffer from things like bloating, constipation, diarrhea, but they also have symptoms of anxiety, depression, and brain fog, because our gut and our brain are highly interconnected. And as Hippocrates says, all disease begins and ends in the gut. And this is the exact reason why I am so passionate about taking a functional root cause based approach for any chronic health condition, gut issues, mental health, illness, autoimmune conditions, stubborn weight loss, you name it, me and my team do a comprehensive analysis, looking at all these different systems, so we can test instead of just guess, and then develop a customized nutrition plan and protocol to address these root causes and balances in the body and restore function. If you want to book a free 30 minute call with anyone from my team, click the link in the show notes or visit Rachel shear.com. And I think sometimes, especially in functional medicine, and, you know, getting to the root cause and all the testing, we tried to just blame something that’s often the body as the reason but we don’t actually look at the relationship that we have with ourself. But that is really the true determinant of why things come off in the first place. It’s, it’s an emotional stress, the way we are developing these vices, a way of running away, you know, food addiction doesn’t just happen, it comes from the relationship we have with ourselves, because we’re trying to run away from something. And I see this on both extremes very often, you know, I see the type a the perfectionist, who is hustling for their worth in order to prove them to themselves into the world, that they are worthy. And then I see on the opposite end of the spectrum, the person who doesn’t believe they’re worthy, therefore, numbs themselves through food addictions, through, you know, giving themselves excuses to eat whatever they want to not exercise. And this leads to all of their health issues being overweight, obese, inflammation in the gut. And we can look at both of these people and say, honestly, they have a very similar root cause. They’re trying to shame herself to health. They’re trying to heal a body, they don’t love.

[13:28] RACHEL SCHEER: And if you think about it, that is just so opposite of what it really takes to heal. So healing really takes this true vulnerability with ourself. It takes getting to the root cause of not just what is off in the body, but getting to the true root cause, the relationship we have with ourselves. And if you think about it, all of our life, circumstances, and relationships are a byproduct of the way in which you relate to yourself, and I’m gonna break that down exactly what that means. But circumstances can be anything. Your circumstances can be your health circumstances. This can be the work circumstances you’re in. This can be any kind of life circumstances, but also our relationships. All are a byproduct of the way in which we relate to ourselves. And if you think of that word relate to ourself. That really means relationship. The relationship we have with ourself in a relationship has three things. There are or thoughts about that relationship, their views about that relationship and their feelings about that relationship. So when I, you know, meet a stranger, let’s say I’m in a coffee shop, and, you know, we have this exchange, maybe he’s having a bad day, or, you know, I’m kind of a little bit reserved, because I’m processing through something. We’re both in this relationship with that with each other. And there are thoughts about that relationship. And that person views about that relationship and that person and feelings about that relationship, and that person. And we have the exact same thing with ourselves, we have a relationship with ourself, we have thoughts of us in feelings about ourself, which directly creates and impacts all of our circumstances, which in how we show up on a day to day basis, in all of our relationships in which we have. And a lot of these views, thoughts and feelings have actually came from our very first relationship we ever had. And that is the relationship that we had with our parents.

[16:23] RACHEL SCHEER: And I actually had a lot of abandonment, as I was a kid, I was neglected, I wake up every single night, I would be bawling my eyes out wondering where my mom was at. I had very inconsistent love when I was a kid. And that created this view of something wrong with me that I am unworthy of just being loved. So later on in life, I ended up, you know, looking for ways to prove and really essentially hustle for my worthiness, striving and driving, pushing my body to the extreme and fitness, because I had this underlying belief system of if I was able to reach this level of fitness, I’d be beautiful enough to be loved, and to be worthy. If I was able to reach a certain success in my business, I’d be enough, and are able to be loved and worthy. But it was such a lie. So you can think about any situation that you’re in that today. And it is a byproduct of the thoughts we have about herself, the views we have about herself and the feelings we have about herself, which very often came from the way we began to view and feel and think about herself in our first relationship that we developed the relationship that we had with our parents. And you guys, this is where the work truly actually begins. Because when we can get real with ourself and say Holy shit, like I have been showing up in this way to try to prove something, or I’ve been running away from something. I’ve been numbing, I’ve been diving into these addictions with food or drugs or alcohol. And the addictions don’t even always have to be, you know, like food or drugs. It can also be hyper achievement, fitness, it doesn’t matter.

[18:4o] RACHEL SCHEER: But either way, we have one thing we’re trying to do. We’re running away. We’re running away from this deep feeling of inadequacy. So healing begins when we can identify the root cause. And not just the root cause of what is off in the body with our hormones or gut. But the true root cause. Why did this happen in the first place? What beliefs have I’ve been carrying in my life that have cultivated me to show up in certain way. And once we get real, we get real with ourself. This is when we can start to begin to take the steps that we need to do to heal. And part of that is honoring the place that we’re in. Sometimes, it’s really fucking hard. Like I said, at the beginning of this podcast is really fucking hard. Sometimes we feel like we want to give up. Sometimes we have the feeling of I don’t know if I can do this. But it’s choosing to say, Yes, I can And in allowing What is there to be there, or we continue to do the work. And that, my friends, is when it becomes your superpower. Because your healing actually comes from the acceptance, the either of most acceptance of all sorts of you. I’m not saying there isn’t things that you don’t want to work on, about yourself, and heal through. But that healing comes from accepting all parts of you, where you are at right now in your journey. Accepting that there may be emotions, that don’t feel good, that are there. In allowing those to be there in the midst of Yes, going through your normal day to day life, taking ownership, in honoring the place that you are in, honoring where you’re at, in your journey. And this can be small things this can be things like, I feel exhausted today, I didn’t sleep very well last night. And instead of trying to push this feeling away, just saying, girl, it’s okay. We’re tired today.

[21:28] RACHEL SCHEER: But we’re still going to show up. And we’re going to still give our best. We’re not going to pretend we’re not tired, we’re not going to pretend that we feel amazing. But we can still show up. And when we can take things like that in other areas of our life, that’s when we can heal and truly have healing, despite where we’re at in any part of our life. But we need to stop rescheduling and stop putting our healing on hold. We need to stop pretending like everything is okay and putting on a fake smile. Life does not slow down in order for us to heal, to get healthy, or to do the work that we need to honor self healing happens when we fully can embrace who we are where we’re at. Honor, that space that we’re in. And that is the most loving thing you can do for yourself. I hope you guys enjoyed today’s podcast, and leave me a review. Share your thoughts with me. What is resonating with you what is hitting home. And I hope you guys can take some pieces of this today and apply it here for you over this next week. And one of the best ways is when you’re noticing emotions that are coming up, that you’re wanting to push away. How can you just honor that space that you’re in and allow it to be there? I think that is the first step truly in taking this beautiful journey of healing and stepping into the best versions of ourselves.

 

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